June 28, 2008 by emptynomore | Edit
Emptiness tops the list on all the posts that have been written (and that have been read) on this site. Emptiness…feeling empty is a common “sickness” with the majority of people I talk to. If it were a disease, I would say that it is an epidemic in our society. This feeling of emptiness is causing much sadness, increased clinical depression, decreased satisfaction of once loved jobs and hobbies, inability to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, difficulty in communication with friends and work associates, and many many more difficulties.
In my work, I deal with this symptom every day. In previous writings, I have attempted to explain what is happening or not happening in the life of someone who feels “empty.” When we say the word, “empty,” it quickly lets us know that “something” is missing. Something is missing or the feeling would not be the sense that something important (something that it seems like most other people have) is just not there in your life.
I believe that in my writings the most accurate explanation I have given and what I believe is the core problem which causes this feeling of being empty is the lack of purpose in life. In other words, people feel empty when they are not sure of the direction their life is taking. Or they know the direction and are deeply disappointed about it – perhaps they have not reached this goal or are experiencing roadblocks along the way of achieving this goal. This lack of purpose and direction takes into account those BIG areas of relationships (family, friends, and romance); also job availability/educational options.
I do not normally “go in for” quick fixes; however, sometimes we need to get a little spark of “hope” to carry us through while we are making a plan that will lead to a fulfilling purpose(s) and to create more magic in the relationships that…yes…fill those empty spaces. Do not forget that this plan is the ultimate goal!!
NUMBER ONE: Reconnect with a family member or friend that you have lost touch with. It is better if you can reconnect with someone who is close enough that you can get together. Whatever the reason you disconnected…be willing to let the past be in the past. Do not rehash any old disagreement. Start new! Apologize if it is the right thing to do. Forgive if that is the right thing to do. Choose someone that you and s/he have connected well with in the past.
NUMBER TWO: If you have someone to do this with you – good. But it can be done alone and be just as effective! If you are not satisfied with your job – go get the want ads from the newspapers in your area. And depending on your lifestyle…you may even dare to consider a relocation!! If you need more education or training – go to the nearest college (or with relocation in mind) choose college or training in a different part of the state or country. Check things out in areas that you are truly interested in. By the way…I went completely through college and graduate school on scholarships..ending up paying for only ONE semester. IT CAN BE DONE!
NUMBER THREE: Everyone needs to define their belief system. Get comfortable and ready to put your mind in gear. Fill in this sentence as many times as you can: “I believe that _____.” These statements can be as short or as long as you want/need them to be. The goal is not how many things you can name…it is your ability to write down those things that you really feel strongly about. Remember that our belief systems grow as we grow – not many beliefs are “written in cement!” It is amazing how many people go through life not having defined the things they actually believe…things that are important in their lives…not having understood their morals and ethics. Starting to know these things about yourself will lift your spirits! There are not many more things in life that are more important than defining who you are – not depending on what other people think or say about you. Define yourself!!
NUMBER FOUR: Regardless of time of day or night…regardless of weather conditions (unless it would be dangerous), go outside and find the beauty in nature. If you are in a crowded city…look up. Look at the sky whether day or night…find the beauty. Grass, trees, bushes, flowers…even bugs! Contemplate two things that seem like opposites: think how simple nature is and then…think how complex nature is! As you allow your mind to dwell in these two places with Nature…your own troubles will become smaller in your mind. Nature has a powerful healing force. When I have a headache, I go outside and study nature and just breathe…
NUMBER FIVE: Take a long warm bath! Play your favorite music while you tend to taking care of and cleansing your body – that living frame that carries you around on this Earth! Depending on YOUR frame of mind, play the kind of music that will create the right atmosphere for you to cleanse your inside as well: At times, I play music that is slow and even somewhat melancholy…these are the times I allow myself to cry. There is no better place to have that cleansing cry than in the bathtub or shower. Let the tears flow – get it all out. Real men cry…women too. Sometimes we release anger when it is actually despair / sadness that needs to be released. Other times, I will play energizing music and sing along – even though I don’t sing well! Make the music work for you…to release pent up sadness – or – give yourself a jazzy fix with energizing tunes.
NUMBER SIX: Move! To the extent you are able to do it safely: MOVE! Get off your backside and take a walk. Again…you will be out in nature and when you add movement, you will actually change the chemistry in your body! Weather too bad for a walk? Walk around your house for 10 to 30 minutes! Add music if you like…clean up around the house if you like – but MOVE! If you are not allowed out of bed due to a physical condition…move whatever you can: arms, legs, fingers, or facial movements! NOW: after your movement – whatever it was: look at yourself in the mirror and smile at yourself for at least one minute- DO IT ! Write your thoughts down after you have moved and smiled! It would be interesting to write down your thought before and after your “move and smile” routine.
NUMBER SEVEN: I believe I have saved the best for last; though, you might hesitate to do this. This is the most humbling of things to experience but can be THE THING / THE BEHAVIOR that can help you break through your feelings of emptiness: find or make a clean place…a private place and lay on the floor on your face. If you are uncomfortable, use a pillow, but the point is – to humble yourself before God. The Bible tells us to “seek His face.” Let your mind be quiet and listen. He knows what you need. Listen for the answer. Answers can come in many different forms: a thought may enter your mind; a “picture” may enter your mind; a course of action may present itself. Again, the point is: humble yourself…surrender all your “power and control” to He who does have absolute power. You will receive some kind of answer – within yourself…from others…from something you hear or read. God loves you.
I am sitting here…hoping that you will take the time and expend the effort to do these simple things. You are worth it. Let me know how it works out for you. I would be pleased to hear from those of you who get back into the stream of a life that brings fulfillment and joy. Remember, we all have ups and downs. Have these simple but powerful tools ready when your down times occur.
Daniel 10:12: Then he said to me, Fear not, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your mind and heart to understand and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come as a consequence of [and in response to] your words.
Micah 6:8: He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, and to love kindness and mercy, and to humble yourself and walk humbly with your God? [Deut 10:12, 13 )
Romans 12:16: Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty (snobbish, high-minded, exclusive), but readily adjust yourself to [people, things] and give yourselves to humble tasks. Never overestimate yourself or be wise in your own conceits. [Prov 3:7 ]
Wishing you fulfillment, humility, wisdom and peace,